Saturday, October 29, 2011, 9:26AM- began writing process
{took medication}
Saturday, October 29, 2011, 9:02AM- finished breakfast
{AJ had several queries. Answered as best as possible. Very foggy and confused.}
{attempted simple statements of truth to find calm. was interrupted several times. grew agitated. mind became foggier and busier.}
Saturday, October 29, 2011, 8:51AM- began breakfast
{wandered a bit in confusion. not sure if still dreaming.}
Saturday, October 29, 2011, 8:44AM- jumped awake
{weird nightmare. combined several fears and stressors as well as what I just read in A Game of Thrones. attic bedroom improved. three rooms added. sink. bathroom. a slide. someone gives me a lesson in how to prepare soft serve ice cream with weird lever and bubbles. C family present. K very much hyper-stoned. old clyde follows me around. current clyde hisses when picked up. sleeps a lot. craft supplies everywhere. young teenager again. boy crazy. but popular. weird. ended with aj shouting. unclear if it was at me. *same as real life.* woke feeling scared, foggy, confused, weak, sad, nervous, and alone.}
Saturday, October 29, 2011, 7:33AM- turned off light to sleep
Saturday, October 29, 2011, 1:34AM- gave up on sleep. lights. snacks. book. quilt. couch.
{lots of turning. lots of shivering. lots of sweats. uncomfortable. uneasy. not sleeping.}
Friday, October 28, 2011, 10:46PM- went to bed (couch).
Friday, October 28, 2011, 10:10PM- Po came home.
Friday, October 28, 2011, 10PM- Grimm ended. In love with pilot. There better be more to come.
Friday, October 28, 2011, 9PM- Grimm pilot begins. Hooked after 15 minutes.
Friday, October 28, 2011, 8:59PM- First episode of last season of Chuck ends. Had it's good moments, had it's 'eh' moments.
Friday, October 28, 2011, 8:11PM- on hold with Papa Johns. order was placed. credit card charged. no offer to make it right. refund expected in 3-5 business days.
{AJ opens door, I hover to listen. Confused conversation. Po runs out. AJ walks out after him. She returns. Pizza guy still standing there. More confused conversation, not helped by his attention to my breasts instead of my words. I shout for him to leave and shut door.}
Friday, October 28, 2011, 8:03PM- Papa John's pizza guy knocks on door
Friday, October 28, 2011, 8PM- first episode final season of chuck begins
Friday, October 28, 2011, 7:45PM- nuke frozen stuffed chicken breast. consume with cheese puffs. and fudge. and a coke. Dinner fit for... the very lazy and sad.
{Too many disappointments in a short span of time. Burned by google search thrice. Question the world and all it contains when google search fails. Forget pizza for the night.}
Friday, October 28, 2011, 7:34- have in depth phone convo with local pizza place. begin to place order. learn they are actually 15 miles away. do not deliver to location.
{google search for 'pizza delivery in (zip code), waste time calling two places that don't offer delivery at all, find a third place listed as 4.7 miles from current location.}
Friday, October 28, 2011, 7PM- papajohns.com. sign-in fails. create all new account. meticulously choose order for myself and AJ. Before placing order, call the store to add instruction for baker, employee answers confused and rattled, background sounds like bazaar, informed order had to be placed first, placed on hold, new employee answers, less noise, still confusion in background, informed wait time was 1.5 - TWO hours, requested order be cancelled, assured it would be.
{surfed the web. facebook. ravelry. pinterest. listia. gmail. random blogs. pretended to crochet. stared at pattern a lot. cats played. laughed. texted MBPE and MR and JH.}
Friday, October 28, 2011, 9:30AM- hot bath. too hot. got sweaty. read. back felt better.
Friday, October 28, 2011, 6:45AM- back in hallway. not sure how. saw AJ walk out door. grabbed pear. sat on couch.
Friday, October 28, 6:18AM- startled awake, cold. left room. too dark in apt for weekday. found AJ still asleep. Woke her up. Put cats food in bowls. Back hurt. Sat in chair. Got up. Went back to bedroom.
Friday, October 28, 2011, 6AM- wanted to give up on sleep and go in living room. decided to wait for AJ to leave. noticed lack of light coming from hallway. dozed off.
Friday, October 28, 2011, 4:15AM- went to bathroom.
{tossing, turning, very little if any sleeping}
Friday, October 28, 2011, 2AM- counted sheep. started thinking about fleece. carding. spinning. dyeing. handspun. handdyed. yarn. wanted pretty yarn. thought about gifts for the coming months. panicked at the number of gifts to make. stressed over shawl on RW 15 of 78 and three days to finish for NW.
{go to bed. stare at smoke detector light until I see two lights instead of one. drift in and out of sleep. toss and turn. freeze and sweat.}
Thursday, October 27, 2011, 10PM- Secret Circle ends.
